Today we say good bye to a good friend and loving family member Chris(t) Knouse. A loving member of the Knousehold from the date of his inception into it: Chris(t) will certainly be missed. And though some would wish him to be still with us today we must understand that he is in a better place now, lest we end up with this.

A Few Words of Farewell - The Rosie Taylor Project

I had my first gas vs. brake moment today as I was pulling into the Fry’s shopping center in Oxnard. It was the first time my dad has ever had to grab the wheel (because I lost track of where that was going as I was reconciling my gas vs. brake dilemma), but it shook me up far less than I had expected it to, perhaps because it came with the realization that that was the first time I had had that issue and it was resolved relatively quickly or maybe it was the promise of free coffee.

I was recently asked to help a friend of mine come up with reasons to be emo, and they came to me with surprising ease. Just thought I’d share. 

Because the sun will burn out one day

Because everyone will die some day

Because some people won’t die soon enough

Because Motion City Soundtrack is so darn catchy

Because everyone likes Ben Gibbard

Because emos created PureVolume.com

Because I’ll have acne until I have wrinkles

Because retainers are a pain in the…err teeth

Because school starts far too early in the morning

Because I look good in skinny jeans

Because I can’t, for the life of me, remember what the hell a Cavalier is

Because college is so darn expensive

Because the stress of finals is making me break out

Because there are people dying in Darfur

Because some people still think that a mullet is an attractive hair style

Because some of my favorite phrases are considered cliché

Because I feel small

Because I am awkward

Because I will probably head the itty bitty titty committee for many more years

Because I can never seem to get enough sleep

Because Paris Hilton exists

Because someone finds her attractive

Because I don’t have time to get my driver’s license

Because Arrested Development was canceled

Because Napoleon Dynamite was deemed a cult classic

Because The Lord of the Rings only tied with Titanic for academy awards

Because Titanic received any academy awards

Because the price of gas will only continue to go up

Because AIDS is running rampant in Africa

Because people are starving to death as I type

Because John Kerry supports Barack Obama

Because the number of ignorant people in the U.S. seems to be growing

Because the media pays so much attention to Britney Spears

Because Susan Sontag will always be a bitter woman

Because hormones suck

Because periods are a pants staining bummer

Because men will never know the pain of child birth 

Because learning through osmosis doesn’t work

Because I will never use 80% of the things I’m being tested on next week

Because I have poor time management skills

Because best friends forever is sometimes a lie

Because my iPod only holds 4 gigs

Because my printer is out of ink

Because chocolate makes people fat

Because we don’t live in a Walgreen’s commercial

Because second hand smoke affects people who aren’t necessarily doing anything wrong

Because some people are so adamantly against gay marriage that they have seen fit to make it illegal

Because spiders exist

Because dogs never have sweet smelling breath

Because converse go with everything 

So because of my general lack of actual homework, my need to accomplish something and my inability to study I have been forced to dig up my math book in an effort to finish my Pre-calculus study guide in a timely manner. In truth though, my motivation here is two fold, yes, achieving something will make me feel slightly less helpless in the face of my pressing finals, but I also happen to be clinging to a B- in that class harder than the 60+ year old women clung to the last of the Von’s turkeys last November twenty first. Oh, and as a bit of clarification when I said “dig up my math book” I actually meant “whip out my lap top and open up Google”, my advanced mathematics book is a waste of a tree… a very big tree. So, with a pointy pencil, a notebook and and Google by my side I began to trudge through my Pre-calculus study guide. All was going well for the first 12 or so problems (now that I’ve got basic algebra down, concept questions were easily answered using math sites like purplemath.com) and then I hit the “stretching and shrinking graphs” section. Unaffected at first by this concept which I had previously not understood (after all, I had just figured out general transformations using purplemath) I calmly typed my query into the search box and found the following:

“So the “left”, “right”, “up”, “down”, “flip”, and “mirror” transformations are fairly straightforward, but the “multiply” transformations, also called “stretching” and “squeezing”, can get a little messy. You should hope that they aren’t frequently required of you.”

What? Thanks a lot for the reassurances purplemath, good to know you believe in me and all that jazz.

This would totally be my default photo.

Words I uttered to my father today after changing seats in the middle of an intersection because of my inability to get into first gear after three green lights.

A good friend will be bummed when you can’t meet them somwhere for pizza. A best friend will simply bring the pizza to your house.

You’ve ruined School House Rock for me or at least the history section. Those once snappy tunes which seemed so insightful in fifth grade now leave me with the empty feeling of American prejudice, and when viewed in the mindset of the average AP History student, thirsting for juicy facts, important names, treaties, quotes and the lark, they become even more dissatisfying. While it is true that this mindset may not apply to other subjects covered by this once grand institution I now find it hard to trust them on any subject (My God, what really is the function of a conjunction? And is three truly a magic number? Can I trust zero when the going gets tough?). With this previously solid institution of learning now blown to bits I don’t know what I can trust in this world anymore.

Gahhh! Is all I feel like I can say and probably more than I have time to say.

I have not gotten near enough sleep for some time now and it’s catching up to me. I have trouble staying awake in class, which in turn leaves me confused about my decently sized homework load, which I can never seem to finish at a reasonable hour because the first thing I do when I get home is doze off because I am so exhausted. Unfortunately these fleeting moments of unconsciousness are not enough to render me any more rested, so I usually continue in a vicious cycle of low productivity for a few hours after getting home, and thus I am usually up until after midnight finishing my homework. And all of this is making me irritable and whiny, which I hate. I skipped out on dance class today in order to afford more time for homework, but instead of doing my homework I’m sitting here writing this blog in the hopes of de-stressing. Even worse I’m complaining about it to people who have just as many (if not more) demands on their time.

Again I say: Gahhhhhhhhhh!

This one was written during pre-calculus one day in an attempt to retain my sanity.

As I sat there in pre-calcoolus my decision to forgo becoming a mathematician was, not for the first time, reaffirmed. When Mr. Kellog presented the word problem I’ve been faced with since 7^thgrade, and still don’t understand, it took every last ounce of my resolve to fight off a nervous break down, which probably had more to do with the fact that I was up till 2:30 am that night studying for a History test that baffled me anyway; so when Mr. Kellog whipped out a new word problem (claiming that this one would be easier to relate to) all I could do was mentally criticize the way it was written. So, for your reading pleasure I’ve provided it here, with some of my thoughts.

 Every day Rhonda Miller needs a dietary supplement

Does anyone actually need a dietary supplement? Most people can get these vitamins through a healthy diet, so what makes Rhonda so damn special?

of 4mg. of vitamin A, 11 mg. of vitamin B and 100 mg. of vitamin C. Either of two brands of pills can be used:

What? There are hundreds of vitamin brands out there. Where could this chick possibly live that there are only two brands available?

Brand X at 6¢ a pill and Brand Y at 8¢ a pill.

Who buys vitamins by the pill? Who sells vitamins by the pill? Are we sure she’s not actually buying “vitamins”?

The chart below shows that a Brand X pill provides 2 mg. of vitamin A, 3 mg. of vitamin B and 25 mg. of Vitamin C. Likewise a Brand Y pill supplies 1, 4 and 50 mg. respectively. How many pills of each brand should she take a day in order to satisfy the minimum daily requirement

The average vitamin provides like 5x the recommended daily value.

most economically.